#i am the epitome of useless lesbian

[chaoticbooklesbian]

I was in Boston the weekend of Boston Pride, and wound up in the park where it was happening. There was a person there with a sign offering free kisses for shes and theys. I considered going up and saying "I'm a she and a they, does that mean I get two kisses?", but I had somewhere to be, and I got shy, so I didn't go up to them at all.

[protectcosette]

my toxic trait is still being head over heels for people that have ghosted me

[hotchtits]

go on bby. talk about hotch. as much as you want ill read it all

*kisses you on the mouth sloppy style*

How I feel about this character

AAARGSHHSIDK AA AAAJDJEJ AHHHDJSJSJ

uh i mean he’s cool i guess.

no all jokes aside there are very few characters that are doing it like him.

he’s the leader of one of the most elite teams in the FBI. he’s a wet cat. he’s the epitome of traditional heterosexuality. he’s a boy kisser. he’s cold and distant. he loves his team more than anything in the world. he’s the next best profiler after gideon. he’s a massive idiot and a dork who collects coins. he’s got the skill level of a sniper/marksman. he does most of his team's paperwork so they can focus in the field. he’s no nonsense and straight laced. he seriously considered using web shooters at the FBI. he frequently catches an attitude with his boss, bigoted cops, and generally people in higher positions of power than him (and they just kind of take it). he has enough connections to get the italian government to revoke diplomatic immunity of a vatican priest. he's on a first name basis with the attorney general. he's kind of (at first) an absent father. he's a single mother of 6. he killed a man with his bare hands. he's so unbelievably gentle. he’s a white guy in a basic ass suit. he serves unprecedented levels of cunt.

what i keep coming back to is how much he cares. he cares about victims, he cares about unsubs (the ones that had justifiable reasons for being the way they are), more than anything he cares about his team.

the lengths he goes to to protect them or even just let them know he's there for them. he doesn't raise his voice, even when he's furious and when they lash out at him, he just absorbs it. aaaaaaugh. even roy, who hates his guts, he still cares about and still tries to make nice with for the sake of his son still having a grandparent in his life.

long story short i love aaron hotchner for all of his fucked up ways, big wet eyes, and self sacrificing demeanor.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

am i insane for saying the whole team? poly bau has a special place in my heart. i think he should get to have several boyfriends and several girlfriends. and his boyfriends are boyfriends and his girlfriends are girlfriends and they're all just happy.

hotch x happiness thats actually my favorite ship.

i mainly go for hotchgan, though, they make me want to rip my hair out. their push and pull, their similarities, hotch's head vs morgan's heart. kill me please.

i feel like him and rossi couldve also had a thing back in the preshow days. they give The Subway by chappell roan when he comes back in season three there is nothing casual about them.

hotchley before the divorce was so sweet :( i have such mixed feelings though because i can see how both of them would be frustrated with the other.

john blackwolf gets to be here as a treat because i think they would be absolutely destroy a buddy cop comedy thats actually a slowburn enemies to lovers. im aware this is just the plot of The Tribe.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

jessica brooks. im being so serious she stepped up in a way that very few others did. her offering to look after jack after hailey dies, staying with him when hotch gets called away, defending him against roy. also their banter is wonderful they r sooo siblings to me.

him and garcia are a very close second. obviously her and morgan are It but we gotta start putting some respect on him and garcia because

“i know you see the best in people, and i’d never want you to change that”

and the way she stayed with him when he collapsed in s9 aaarggh.

also hotchniss but as a wlw/bisexual friendship. they both agree that hotch has awful taste in men and that emily is a useless lesbian.

My unpopular opinion about this character

i mentioned this in someone else’s ask about unpopular HCs but i dont think he’s this #daddydom character in bed that people write him as. (disclaimer, headcanons are headcanons and im not bashing them, this is just what i think)

i can see him being dominant in bed (tho im a sub!hotch truther) but i dont think he’d go in for sadism or degrading or anything like that. given his childhood abuse, i cant imagine he’d enjoy hitting his partner or making them cry (even if it is consensual). in the show, he's very overtly gentle, especially with the people he loves.

i also dont think he’d enjoy a big age gap relationship with a subordinate either (i also see this being floated around). my man is a stickler for the rules and if theres a fraternization policy, i doubt he’d break it. im aware i sound like a massive hypocrite bc i ship him w the team but im mainly talking about x reader pairings here.

i was actually gonna put a different headcanon here but i saw a stepdad!hotch x reader fic and i,,, just,,, no. again write whatever you want but he Would Not Fucking Do That lmao.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

PISSED BEYOND BELIEF WE NEVER GOT AN “AARON” EPISODE

i guess 100 was kind of in the same vein but Reid got both “Revelations” and “Spencer” so i think we deserved an “Aaron”

for the love of god expand on his backstory. he was sent off to boarding school, he was a lawyer, a federal prosecutor, he was on SWAT, he's an accomplished sniper, he was with the BAU for something like 8 years before the show started i think. where is he finding the time for this?

[ezra-iolite]

Unnamed Colony OCs: The "Goth" Moths

(Feel free to correct me on anything you feel off about as you read this, JJ! ^w^ This is your world, after all, and I am merely a fan of it, while secretly hoping to add a little to the background of it all through my goth moth bebes~ And hopefully I'll be able to draw them both... One day. ;3;)

Name/s? Amber Cecropia [She/Her- Lesbian] Aurelio Cecropia Styx [He/Him- Bisexual]

Age Level? (How long did your character exist?) Both Amber and Aurelio are in the equivalent of their early 30s, as they're identical twins.

Alternative-Form/Vehicle Mode? Amber is a Cecropia Moth Bugformer. Aurelio is the same species of moth Bugformer as his twin, but paints his entire body to look like a Lesser Death's Head Hawkmoth.

Where do they come from? Amber lives on the outskirts of the capital city of the underground colony, in the nocturnal district; a sector of the city where others like her who operate mostly at night all dwell. Aurelio travels a lot for his job, but he mostly lives in the aristocratic district of the capital and operates during the day more due to the demands of his lifestyle, even if it’s against his instincts.

Fraction? Since there aren't really any factions in the colony world (as far as I'm aware), Amber can be best described as lawfully good as she deeply respects (sometimes worships) the Titan and looks up to the Cityspeaker and their Titan’s Guard... While her twin brother Aurelio is chaotic neutral and has no love or care for the Titan or her acolytes.

Caste? Amber is an upper-middle class citizen while her brother is a high class celebrity. Aurelio mostly wears jewel necklaces, antenna chains and long sleeved blouses to express his high class status, while Amber wears glasses and a handmade shawl that fits her simpler tastes.

Personality traits? The twins are the exact opposite of each other due to their differing personalities and lifestyles, and as such Amber often stays away from her brother as much as possible due to his more toxic personality, but she still loves him despite his abuse towards her. Amber is calm, a little timid but very warm and loving to those she feels safe with, a very fitting personality to her "whimsigoth" vibe. She adores collecting shiny and broken things she finds while on her walk to and from the library she works at, or during the night parties that happen every other night for nocturnal citizens like herself. Her trinkets are always the more useless and misshapen things that are abandoned and buried, like broken brooches, shattered jewelry pieces and weapon heads from the ancient past, and you can usually find her fixing and polishing them during her days off, whenever she's not knitting in her reading chair by the window. Once her trinkets are fully fixed and looking as beautiful as they were in their prime, she'll usually give them away as gifts to those she cherishes most. In turn, if something shiny that holds a deep meaning is given to her, she'll wear it or treasure it forever. (She totally doesn’t fix broken beautiful things for any metaphorical reason relating to her trauma… ¬3¬’ I hope.) Aurelio, however, is the type of person who is in his element in the spotlight, even more so as a singing idol. Booze, drugs, a new partner in his bed each day and night, he's the epitome of a celebrity that let fame get to his head and ruin his life as a result, as his velvety voiced talents only furthers his coffers and ego the deeper he goes into the rabbit hole of fame. Due to the obsessive love of his new high class lifestyle, he took on a more edgy and regal appearance and repainted his frame to look like a Death's Head Hawkmoth to fit his stage persona, only adding to this obsession by bedazzling himself in ununtrium necklaces and chain antennae rings to show off his wealth wherever he goes. Whenever he returns home to the capital, he will often try to visit his twin sister to verbally degrade her and brag about his lifestyle compared to hers, before he occasionally steals one of her trinkets or breaks them when she's not looking. Amber has tried to kick him out on multiple occasions but he knows she feels compelled to let him visit due to them both being the only family the twins have left.

What did they do before and during the civil war/War for Cybertron? What was their past like? The twins were raised by a pair of moth Bugformers named Dahlia and Io, who the twins were told to call their Aunt and Uncle due to their original caretakers being unable to raise them, as their father figure died in a cave-in while their mother figure, the one who first took them in from the spark pool they emerged from, disappeared when the twins were barely a month old. Aurelio often copied everything Amber did while they were very young, despite him being the oldest by a full minute. Some of these shared interests he gained from Amber included their shared love for music, the more enchantingly macabre things in art, history and media, and of course singing. His mimicry game soon led to them both finally gaining their own individual preferences through a shared experience at a music festival for the nocturnal citizens of the colony, where Amber found her love for the darker forms of music and its themed attire from one of the performances at it, going for a more whimsical look with black shawls and makeup inspired by the Titan's art depictions, due to her love for history and the Titan herself. Aurelio, meanwhile, became more inspired by the attire of some more macabre themed bands at the same festival. And during one such performance, Aurelio found his first celebrity crush and career goal awakening... a Pine Hawkmoth singer named Rhapsody, for through his music did Aurelio find his own appearance style and his dream of becoming a singer just like his crush. Once the twins reached their late teen years, Aurelio formed his own band with some childhood friends, who mostly played violin, wooden flute and the lute, and with Amber joining in as a singer too in order to support her beloved brother, and soon with their uncle's help they began to perform at parties and festivals across the colony as a band named Death's Head, due to the band consisting mostly of Hawkmoths, with Aurelio choosing to paint his own body to appear like a Lesser Death's Head Hawkmoth... thus creating his stage persona when he became the leader and head singer of the band, gaining the new full name Aurelio Styx. (And for anyone curious, this is what the twins sound like when singing together: https://youtu.be/pAjYbmRvNb4 at 1:03~) After the eventual passing of their aunt and uncle from old age, the band finally began to play at bigger festivals as Aurelio and Amber soon grew more famous across the colony, even more so once they began performing in the capital more often and upgraded their instruments to the more electrical kind now that they could afford it, but that was when things began to go downhill. For the more wealth Aurelio acquired with his newfound fame, the more he began to fall into the wrong crowd that skittered in the darkest cracks of the city walls... Drugs, drink and bedfellows replaced his time rehearsing with his bandmates, and no matter how much Amber tried to reason with her brother and best friend to make him stop his habits, her words fell on deaf audials. After their third year of touring, the band split and Aurelio became an independent singer as he rose in caste status and gained the good life he was chasing... Even if it meant sacrificing the person he was to gain it. After cutting all ties with the band and giving up her singing career, Amber chose to remain in the capital to study her passion for history and become a librarian, gaining a quiet life as her fame and the drama her departure caused faded into memory, leaving nothing but mental scars and a deep longing for the family it took from her.

Did they experience a moment of great tragedy or trauma that haunts them? The first time a drug cartel came looking for Aurelio due to him owing them money, they targeted Amber when the band was doing their final tour and promoting their second album release, as they mostly stayed at city inns during this time. Breaking down her door and trapping her in her own room, they tortured her for the info on where her brother was, before they left after taking what they deemed rightfully theirs, from both the room and from Amber…

No one came into the room until the next morning, when Aurelio came back hung over and covered in lipstick marks, a clear sign on where he spent the night. Seeing the room in a chaotic mess and his twin sister on the floor, covered in dent and scratches along her arms and legs with some of her own blood under her, Aurelio simply knelt down beside her and asked, “Did they take the money?” With barely enough strength to be able to nod, Amber could only watch as Aurelio scoffed and muttered at how useless she was before he left the room, completely ignoring Amber stuck on the floor. Once she managed to finally call for a doctor and reported the physical assault to the guards, she immediately left the band three days later, who soon properly split once word got around about the assault… A tale that was told across the newspapers and filled the gossip of every citizen across the city, all against her wishes. Amber still remembers the fear and humiliation she felt upon seeing the cropped photo of herself from her band’s handcrafted album cover being used for the newspaper's front page headline, with the rest of the article going into detail about the cartel being spotted outside her room and why no one stopped them… as a fangirl of Aurelio was seen pointing them to the inn Amber and the band were staying at.

In comparison, the darkest time in Aurelio’s life was long after he began his career as an independent singer, when one day he was walking through the market square of the capital, eager to replenish his stock of wine and nectar for another night of partying. However…. The moment he followed the glimmer of orange and black that caught his eye, the world seemed to suddenly freeze in time when he spotted a familiar reflection…

Not noticing him at all, after the year since the split, Amber walked right past him on the other side of the path, looking much healthier, more mature and with a sense of control in the life she seemed to be leading all on her own… a life, Aurelio realized in that moment, that he forced her to have without him. Remembering how his daily life was now filled with nothing but addictions and empty music about jealousy and lust, he watched as his twin sister walked away, his spark heavy with envy and guilt for the parallel lives they now lived. Deep down, Aurelio knew his twin sister would never be able to trust him again.

Anger then began to fill his spark at every resurfaced memory of her, leading to him tracking her down and meeting her properly, this time managing to be invited into her home. What was intended to be a rekindling of their bond as family ended up with them having a massive argument about that day, with Amber screaming at him with tears in her eyes about how he abandoned her when she needed him most, before Aurelio left and began his endless habit of “friendly visits”, a way he deemed cathartic for his anger towards Amber by gaslighting her, teasing her and breaking her trinkets that he felt were just useless shiny junk, a habit he continues to this day, despite Amber’s desire to forbid him from entering her home but fearing losing her only family again.

Did they experience a moment of great joy that´s still in their memory as a precious moment? While Amber still felt scared of her past catching up to her, she finally did get out and enjoy the nocturnal parties that led to her first discovering her love of dark yet flashy makeup and music so long ago. In memory of the happy girl she lost to the cartel's lust, Amber attended a nocturnal party with the intent of just relaxing and mingling, now that no one seemed to recognize her from her past.

There, while Amber was drinking and explaining to a curious Silk Moth how she made her knitted dress out of two shawls she repurposed, she spied a Titan’s Guard stationed nearby watching over the party… And her spark fluttered faster than her wings ever could as she found herself drawn to the beautiful beetle guard, realizing only after she remembered to breathe that the guard was a femme... The most beautiful femme she had ever seen~ Sadly, she felt far too timid to approach her, and instead chose to try again when the nocturnal party would be announced once more... only to realize that the guard wasn't there when she attended the next party. That moment still drives her forward each night to be more social and attend the parties once they come back around, hoping to find that guard again and finally see if she can talk to her or perhaps one day find her in the library she works at… Which has often caused her to daydream during the quiet moments in the library, allowing her to sneakily read some knight themed romance novels at the front desk, wondering between the pages what it would be like to be protected by a true knight of the Titan's Guard~

For Aurelio, the happiest moment of his life was simply the day he saw his very first album on the shelves of the music café in the capital, of seeing his name for the first time on something people could listen to at home, to hear his voice and his life’s work, all while knowing that he was finally going to be a star like he always dreamed of. His joy was shared with Amber on that day, even while he failed to see how worried she looked as he began his chase for his toxic life.

Is your character able to drive any vehicles? Where did they learned it? Amber and Aurelio have no need, since they can both fly to the very ceiling of any city or town within the underground colony, in both alt-mode and their bipedal forms. Aurelio, however, prefers to travel by monorail or on a steed, all to prevent his painted wings from being ruined.

Did your character meet the figureheads/leaders of their home? No, even in all his fame or during their band’s prime, Aurelio and Amber have never met the Cityspeaker or the Titan. The band split before they could even consider the possibility of the Cityspeaker attending one of their shows, and Aurelio isn’t exactly a favourite amongst the higher class musicians or aristocrats for obvious reasons.

Best Friend(s)? Amber is best friends with another librarian she works with, a Common Gray Moth Bugformer named Pearl, who is more like a little sister to her that supports her and gives her advice whenever Amber feels stuck, but she has no idea about Amber’s abusive situation with her brother. Pearl does, however, know about the love story of the Titan’s Guard member Amber fell hard for and eagerly wishes to help the taller Moth find her lady knight… at least for the sake of going to a party with her and gaining some gossip for the librarians.

Aurelio mostly just talks to his manager and some of the other singers of high class society, but none of whom he would dare to consider even trusting his drink with, let alone turning his back to. He often considers his bodyguards his friends, despite the verbal abuse he throws their way when he's drunk or in drug withdrawal.

Greatest Enemie(s)? Amber's enemy would be her own brother, for obvious reasons... Despite her fawn trauma response making her hold onto him in fear of losing the only form of family she ever knew.

Aurelio, meanwhile, has too many enemies to count, all of whom are within drug cartels or fans who have grown to hate him and send .

Preferred weapons? Amber can’t really fight, but due to her past trauma, she now carries a dagger everywhere she goes, hidden in her arm plating so that she can use it even if she’s pinned down.

Aurelio has hired bodyguards but doesn’t feel the need to arm himself with anything.

Do they have a team/partner, or someone that´s often with them?Beyond Pearl and her co-workers, Amber actually has no one she spends her free time with… But she does have a flower houseplant named Tina. She deeply dreads the day she finally has someone over and she lets slip of casually saying “And that’s Tina” towards her plant baby, who she luckily hides every time her brother comes to visit.

Aurelio spends most of his free time alone or partying, so between those activities he’s more often at his bodyguard's side or with his latest hired escort for the night.

Do they have sibling(s)? How´s their relationship to them? I think we all know the answer to that…

Do they have a sparkmate? How did they get to know each other?The twins are both single, but compared to her miserable toxic brother, Amber is attempting to find and get to know the Titan’s Guard she saw at that party more intimately, all for the sake of following her heart’s desire~ Pearl has since jokingly dubbed the ship "Maple Knight" and will always ask the next day after a nocturnal party, "Has the knight found her Maple Maiden yet?~"

Overall Look?

Amber~ A female of the Silk Moth species of Bugformers, she’s skinny and taller than the average moth or colony citizen by an extra head in height, but a lot shorter than Captain Kabula as she reaches only the beetle’s chest. As a Cecropia Silk Moth, she has large black wings with white tips all along the edges with a large black dot on both primary wings, an orange and thinner white stripe in the middle of both wings, and white crescent moon shapes outlined in orange on the inside that show when they are folded on her back. Her torso and the biceps of her four arms have round, orange fur coated plates that reveal her grey exoskeleton underneath, but only on the belly, underarms, clawed hands, and between her upper pairs of shoulders where her wings are, while her forearms, waist, thigh and calf plates are orange and white striped to show what forms the thorax of her alt-form. Her legs are very thin and slightly digitigrade in shape, which are grey from her two-toed feet to her knees, as they're made of the harder metal forming her exoskeleton, and as such are split into sections just like a moth’s legs. Her neck is hidden by a thick collar of white fur that trails into a heart shaped ball of fluff covering the middle of her chest, which gives it a bustier look, the rest forming a mane or high collar behind her orange head. Just at her helm’s brow line, Amber has two, black, long fuzzy antenna that curve over her head and down to the middle of her shoulders. She tends to keep them twisted like a braid at the ends to keep them out of her ruby eyes and pale white face, which is usually decorated with large, black winged eyeliner leading down to her nose with tiny diamonds on the corners of her eyes, designed to mimic the Titan’s decorative look, alongside black painted lips and, counting on her mood for the day, a tiny black heart on her left cheek, sometimes a rose when she misses the Titan’s Guard she wishes to properly meet. When she’s working, Amber is never without her beloved black knitted shawl, crafted to bear intricate flower patterns, that covers her shoulders, half her wings when folded, and her chest floof, alongside her square black glasses on an obsidian beaded chain to help keep them on her. She can see just fine but is a little short sighted, so she needs them more for work than daily life.

Aurelio~ Without his performance makeup that he rarely takes off, Aurelio looks perfectly identical to Amber without her shawl, glasses and makeup. The only true difference between them, in fact, are the volume in white chest fluff, how his antennae curl more upwards and aren't braided together behind his back, and their eyes.

While Amber has ruby red eyes, Aurelio’s are golden, hence his name. His chest fluff, while slightly less heart shaped and more rounded, is flatter or less fluffy than Amber’s, due to the affects of the drugs within Aurelio’s body, which have since made his black and grey body much lighter and more faded in hue, his orange now a sickly shade of rust. He can hide all this when he becomes Aurelio Styx by painting every inch of his body in speckled brown and coating his legs, forearms and secondary wings in yellow, while adding the infamous skull shape onto his back as befitting a Lesser Death’s Head Hawkmoth. When out and about in public, he always wears a white, half unbuttoned blouse that just reaches halfway down his torso and puffs up his brown and yellow speckled painted chest fur. His beloved short blouse covers just his back, via a long train that reaches his hips, and all four arms, which have long draping sleeves that give him a regal appearance…. and never is he without his two to four jeweled necklaces on the finest chains and pendants of ununtrium, all in his efforts of proving his status and wealth to the colony.

Bonus: What´s the song that represents your character the most?

For Amber... I also think this could be her voice claim~

And for Aurelio... May as well stick with his voice claim and name inspiration~

(The Unnamed Colony belongs to @cuppajj. I own nothing but the OCs)

[petrichor-and-moondust]

Now those of you who followed me before the DC comics days (or those who somehow scrolled fsr enough down my profile) will know how many fandoms I've been in. So let's get this show on the road!

1. Xanthe Xhou (DC Comics)

I don't know that many people know them, but Xanthe is SUCH a badass. They featured in their own 6-issue run, Spirit World, this year, which is honestly so iconic. The art? The story? The character development? AMAZING. Not to mention that series has got Cass in SUCH a beautiful Batgirl costume! Xanthe and their half-living half-dead shenanigans are ptecious to me and i have all of my spirit world issues on display (all variant covers!) not to MENTION that the absolute queen jessica fong made 3 different variant covers foe this series, too?

2. Shinsou Hitoshi (bnha/mha)

If there was EVER an autistic coded character in that show-

but really, I love shinsou. He means so much to me personally and the feeling of being seen as bad or wrong for something out of your control, and for something you haven't ever done, just because of other people's preconcieved notions about what is "good" and "bad"? He deserves better than he got and honestly, the way he is getting to shine in the manga's current arc pleases me a lot. And I mean, come ON, he literally imitates people as his superpower? AUTISM CENTRAL.

3. N (pokémon main videogames)

Basically the same as Shinsou, here...plus the idea of Pokémon liberation to my tiny little 7-year-old brain did irreversible damage. Not to mention how pretty this man is- and how much of a sucker I am for tragic backstories, too. I really love the character development and the way his character was carried on and portrayed in BW2.

4. Aled Last (Heartstopper universe)

Radio Silence has to be one of my favourite books, and Aled's character is very nuanced and just...Man. I love him so much. I love his stupid hair and his secret podcast and his neon green shoes. Aled's story is one that I barely see anyone talking about in the Heartstopper community, even though it's such a good one. And exploring the depth and spectrum of asexuality with Aled and his boyfriend was really personal for me. We don't get enough Canon asexual characters across any mediums.

5. Hobart Brown/Spider-Punk (Marvel Comics)

Punk? Check. Spider-powers? check. sick-ass guitar? check. honestly, what isn't to love about this guy? Hobie's Spider-Punk character is one of my favourite spins on the Spider-man powers and the comic art and storyline are both excellent. Plus, his redesign and character on the Spider-Verse movie is on point, too!

6.Saiki Kusuo (The disastrous life of Saiki K)

He is truly the epitome of aroace swagger. Canonly transgender, loves sweets, and just generally wants people to leave him alone to watch anime. He literally has the power to become a god but chooses noy to because he can't be bothered. What a king.

7. Fischl (Genshin Impact)

She was the first character I got in Genshin Impact! I'm quite a fan of long-range fighters in general, and her design is gorgeous. I love her tragic anime backstory and then her made-up tragic anime backstory. She really is just a teenage girl with an Instagram roleplay account and she wins for that

8. Madoka Kaname (Puella Magia Madoka Magica)

She's God, she's a lesbian, she's mostly useless for the entire series. What else do I gotta say?

9. Caleb Widogast (Critical Role)

He's like if a pathetic drowned cat was a man. His backstory is phenomenal, he's bisexual, he has a magic cat, he has trauma, and a cool design. Big fan of him and Molly!

10. Jayfeather (Warrior Cats)

(this art is by @ataleoftides)

My roots of fandom- everything I am is from long-term exposure to the warrior cats fandom when i was a kid. Jayfeather is sarcastic, disabled, asexual, can and will kill you, and an all-round badass. But he will also complain about literally everything there is to complain about. Just like me, fr.

Tagging:

@sw00nii @guzmagobbler @ponfarrtimeatthevulcannightclub @kogs-and-gears @rubski02

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 a negotiable number of tags

tagged by @poetikat thank you so much!!

Cassandra Cain: DC. It was hard to choose just one DC character, but she's my girl. When I think of her, I think of redemption and love and sacrifice and aiming to be perfect even if you destroy yourself in the process. I could write essays about her, don't tempt me.

Samwise Gamgee: Lord of the Rings. How do you hold on to hope when the world is burning? How do you believe that there's good, and that it's worth fighting for? How do you love despite everything? By being Samwise Gamgee, that's how.

Billie Lurk: Dishonored. Another character carrying the weight of her guilt on her back (I love those), but also the weight of being a complete badass (I also love those).

Hadrian Blackwater: Riyria Revelations. He's a gentle giant. A man capable of infinite kindness, but who also has a big sword and knows how to use it. Ah, he's also a thief. What more could you want?

Viktor: Arcane. A self-isolated dreamer, a hurt idealist, a man in love with knowledge and at war with his own body.... let's just say I relate to him way too much.

Sophie Hatter: Howl's Moving Castle. I love movie Sophie and I love book Sophie. She gets to find her place and her confidence while calling others (mostly Howl) on their bullshit. A true hero.

Inej Ghafa: Six of Crows. I want to see her burn the world and get revenge on everyone who hurt her, but I also want to see her free and smiling and demanding the love she deserves.

Leon S. Kennedy: Resident Evil. Watch this poor guy kill zombies for the millionth time and solve ridiculous puzzles while delivering the corniest one-liners. He needs vacations and therapy.

Nathan Drake: Uncharted. Mister Cognitive Dissonance. He's a nerd, he's a thief, he'll say "oh crap" and tell funny jokes while murdering hundreds of mercenaries.

Kaladin Stormblessed: The Stormlight Archive. There's something about having a character who's lost everything and who's given up, but then decides to fight against all odds with tooth and nail for the sake of others just to realize "Hey, I'm fighting for myself as well."

No pressure tags!! @zukoisblorbo @cephalog0d @xetlretl @putting-the-bi-in-robin @manjirian @opposite-of-aster and anyone who feels like playing!!

[carmensbroom]

I'm literally the dumbest lesbian alive rn

I'm gonna get a phone case with carmen on it but I can't decide which photo to choose I'm stuck between these two someone help djsjsjs

[rpmemes-galore]

Petition to make you the mom of the RP community

oh no, see that’s a bad idea... i am the mom friend, but i am also full of very bad decisions and should not be trusted with responsibility of any kind 

[mercurymagpie]

hey lesbians,, any advice on how to turn Talking To Someone into Dating ?

[faerielleart]

other ships you like? any favorite sweet? a nice memory that you still remember!

from snk, i love yumihisu, mikasasha, mikannie, all the lesbians give me lesbians all day everyday and maybe get me an actual gf while you’re at it too i am the epitome of useless lesbian

i also love erumike, jearmin, mikenana, i kinda enjoy nicosasha too?? i mean they’re cute ngl and i also have a huge soft spot for armin/mikasa for some reason 🥺 idk it just screams FLUFFY to me and oh my god i have like one guilty pleasure ship that i’m pretty sure no one likes/has ever even thought about??? and it usually gets me a big fat “what the FUCK angie” whenever i talk about it but liSTEN i kinda like the idea of erwin/nile please don’t kill me i know nile is married with kids but,,,,,, the whole friends to enemies shit,,,,,,,,, the fact that they were in love with the same woman,,,,,,,,,,,,, listen it has potential for some good Tension and i will now hide myself in a trashcan for this admission bye

my fav sweet has got to be kinder bueno! and my fav dessert is called “diplomatica” or as we call it here “zuppetta”, it’s a traditional neapolitan dessert that’s made of two layers of puff pastry filled with sponge cake that’s wet in liquor flavored syrup (traditionally, “liquore strega”, the liquor with arguably the cutest shaped bottle i’ve ever seen???) and sour cherries. i bake it quite often i love it so much aaaaaa

a nice memory would be my grandma telling me every night before going to sleep a little nursery rhyme that she made up that went like “goodnight, the wolf is hiding behind the door, the door has suddenly disappeared, angela jumps up and down”, she’s been doing this for as long as i can remember and i never fell asleep once without hearing it. she passed away last may so i keep this memory in my heart and i still whisper this little nursery rhyme to myself every night when i’m about to fall asleep, so that i can keep the nightmares away :’) shit this took a sad turn i’m soRRY

[geralehane]

Day 2: Cocktails and Candy Canes

in which lexa’s not so useless and clarke just wants to get sloshed.

A fifty is slammed on the bar, and Lexa blinks as she focuses on it and the hand it’s cramped under. It’s a cute hand, she thinks, before scowling at herself. If there ever was a time I felt like the epitome of a useless lesbian… 

“I want the Kennedy package,” the owner of the hand announces. Lexa lets her gaze travel up, to a leather-clad forearm and carelessly tousled blonde locks, and then their eyes meet and she just about dies. 

Useless lesbian, her inner voice gleefully announces. But – blue, she helplessly thinks back. Her conscience stays silent, most probably marveling at her idiocy. 

She clears her throat and wipes down the bar, out of idleness rather than real necessity. “You want – the Kennedy package.” 

“What I said, wasn’t it?” the girl snaps at her. Before Lexa can react in any way, her blue eyes widen with shock. “I – I’m sorry. I’m not usually that rude. It’s just been a day,” she sighs, plopping onto a chair. 

“Well, I am a bartender,” Lexa says, then, and silently congratulates herself on getting her mouth to cooperate with her brain and producing an actual sentence. A smooth sentence, no less. “Here to listen to your story and provide meaningful advice. I’m not too hot on that front, though. Also – what’s a Kennedy package?” 

The girl’s eyes widen again at that. “You don’t know what a Kennedy package is?” When Lexa shakes her head, she squints. “I had a feeling it was something they made up. Sorry,” she apologizes again at Lexa’s inquiring look. “I binged How I Met Your Mother this week. They had this thing where Lily pays a bartender and goes if you see me with an empty glass, refill it or something like that – honestly, I don’t even remember because, you know. I binged it in a week. Details get muddy.” 

“Certainly. Never watched it, heard it was fun,” Lexa tells her conversationally. “I could do Kennedy package. At,” she glances at her watch, “4 pm on a Tuesday. Wow. Wanna tell me what’s up?” 

The girl smiles for the first time, then, and Lexa just knows she’s doomed. “Get me drunk first.” 

*** 

Her name is Clarke, and she’s completely disillusioned with life. Or so she tells her, at least, as she’s working through her second gin and tonic. 

“It’s not really that bad,” she says as she finishes her drink. “It’s just all those little things piling up, you know?” 

Lexa really does, so she nods. “Refill?” she nods at Clarke’s empty glass. “Same thing, or…?” 

The girl shrugs. “I don’t know. Surprise me. Maybe make it Christmas-y, since ‘tis the season and all that.” Her grin is quick and sharp and filled with something painful. “Not that I’m celebrating this year, as you can tell.” 

“I’d say you got a head start on celebrations, actually,” Lexa attempts to joke. It’s probably the alcohol, but it does make Clarke smile. “You never did tell me what happened. If you want to, of course.” 

She watches her sigh and catches the empty glass she slides her way. “What didn’t? Wow, that was dramatic. Sorry.” 

“You keep apologizing,” Lexa notes lightly as she gets to work, thoughtfully browsing through her shelves for the ingredients for Clarke’s cocktail. She’s not exactly running a fancy bar, but the essentials are there, and she’s grateful for a little break from usual jack and cokes. 

“Yeah. I kind of still feel a little guilty I snapped at you earlier,” Clarke admits. Lexa only hums as the cocktail comes together. She quickly checks if she’s got everything needed. White chocolate liqueur, vodka, peppermint schnapps, and heavy cream. Perfect. 

“There’s no need. I understand bad days,” she tells her guest as she mixes the liquids together in a shaker and tops it off with ice. Consumed with her preparations, she almost misses the transfixed look Clarke’s giving her. Almost. “So – your story?” 

“Right.” The blonde clears her throat and glances away with a blush. Which – again, probably the alcohol. “Where do I even start? First, a project I was working on got shut down. Then, because the project is no more, I went home and found my boyfriend cheating on me.” 

Lexa stills her movements, wincing. “That’s rough,” she offers, apologetically. There is a short sting of disappointment, but it’s quickly replaced with sympathy. When Clarke said it’s been a day, she wasn’t kidding. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” She starts pouring the freshly-made cocktail into a martini glass in-between stealing glances at the blonde who’s watching her with unconcealed curiosity. “What’s that?” 

“Peppermintini,” Lexa announces proudly with a grin before gently sliding it over to Clarke. “Oh! Here,” she reached under the bar and comes up with a candy cane. Blue eyes twinkle with an amused smile when she places it in the glass. “A finishing Christmas touch. Also, your boyfriend is a dick. I hope you know you deserve better.” 

“How do you know that I do?” Clarke inquires, squinting at her over the rim. “Maybe I’m a giant bitch.” 

She shrugs. The answer is easy enough. “No one deserves being cheated on, no matter who they are. Not a great thing to go through.” 

“No kidding,” Clarke mutters as she fiddles with the stem of her glass. “I wanted to break up with him for weeks now, but it still stung. Even though I was ready to let him go. Why is that?” She lets her head drop onto the bar, then, clearly not expecting Lexa to answer. “I kind of hate today,” comes a muffled groan from where she’s tucked her face in the crook of her elbow. 

Lexa chuckles. “Can’t say I relate,” she tells her. “I mean, I met you.” 

“True.” The blonde looks up, a crinkle between her eyebrows as she muses something. “I did meet you, too. Today sucks just a little less.” 

She takes a sip of her cocktail, then, and her expression changes from thoughtful to astonished so rapidly Lexa’s half-sure she’s a cartoon character. “Holy – you’re a wizard,” she says, completely serious. “A cocktail wizard.” 

“That sounds a little sad,” Lexa says, trying not to preen too openly under Clarke’s admiring gaze. 

“This is amazing,” she lets her know in a hushed tone. “I need more. Of different ones, too. What else can you make? Can all of them come with candy canes? It was corny but now I kind of love it.” 

“Oh, then you’ll love me,” Lexa states confidently, and of course she has to go and say something like that. She’s surprised it took her this long to ride a train to Awkwardville. 

But – and, again, must be the alcohol – all Clarke does is laugh, shrug, and send her a ridiculous over-the-top wink clearly meant to be that way. “Well, I am back on the market. Keep these coming, and we’ll see.” 

“Just so you know,” Lexa says, because she feels like this needs to be said, no matter how potentially foot-munching it might be, “I will not be accompanying you home while you’re drunk. So we’re clear. Not that I’m assuming you want me to – I mean, I just wanted to clarify! So you don’t think I might take advantage, or…” It’s times like this she really misses wearing glasses, because fumbling with them was a great way of lowering her anxiety and deflecting. Now, she grabs the nearby object – which just happens to be a corkscrew – and nearly yelps when she jams the sharp end in her thumb. 

Smooth.  

Clarke appears completely unfazed as she watches her mini-meltdown take place in front of her. “I appreciate the clarification,” she tells her, mirth clear in her voice. “Guess I’m coming back here tomorrow, then.” 

Several cocktails later, Clarke crawls out of the bar with the help of her friend Raven and with Lexa’s number saved in her phone. 

[artificialqueens]

don't make me wait another day, chapter 1: let's stop running from love (kamasia) - holtzmanns, writworm42

A/N: Holtz: Can you all believe that Writ and I’s first collab wasn’t a Branjie one? Highkey though, they’re so wonderful and so easy to write with and are hilarious and this was so much fun. I really do love them so much and am so glad to have found such a lovely friend and fellow writer.

Writ: Holtz & I decided to finally put our shared brain cell to use and try something different! We really hope you guys enjoy this, we both love Kamasia so we’re really excited to share this :) Plus, have I mentioned how amazing Holtz is? In every author’s note? Okay. Cause she’s an amazing person to write with and I can’t wait to continue this story with her.

This was based off a tumblr post Holtz saw about a trainer & gym rat falling in love, and we thought we’d add just a dash of useless lesbian to it. Title from My My My by Troye Sivan. 

Asia requires her fair share of persuasion to actually get herself to the gym. She rolls her eyes when Monet first suggests it, retorting that she’d rather poke her eyes out with her own makeup brush than look all sweaty in front of a million strangers.

“But girl, all the other strangers are gonna be sweaty too! That’s the whole point of gym, you go be nasty with other people.” Monet rolls her eyes, dropping her gym bag in the front foyer of their apartment and ignoring the dirty look that Asia gives her for it.

“Girl please, you just like that you finally the prettiest one in the room.” Asia huffs, but Monet’s already walking into the bathroom to take a shower.

“Well if I already outshine you, then you don’t have anything to lose, right? Besides,” she pokes her head out from the bathroom door, “I got plenty of sponges with me if you want to mop all that nasty up.”

She disappears behind the door again before a couch cushion can hit her in the face.

It’s not that Asia doesn’t want to go to the gym, necessarily. She has been meaning to exercise more, become more fit. And it is true that running by herself has become quite boring, what with the same bland trails every time.

It’s just that the thought of going in front of people who look so good and are so much more experienced than her is intimidating. The idea of having them all watch her make an ugly fool of herself on equipment that she barely knows the names of makes her sick to her stomach.

Unfortunately, Monet’s girlfriend Monique is a lot more persuasive than Monet is. By persuasive, Asia means that when she’s having a lovely day off to do nothing but laze around in the apartment, thank you very much, Monique barges in with Monet in tow, announcing that they’re going to work out. She doesn’t leave until Asia is behind her carrying a duffel bag full of towels, running shoes, and a change of clothes.

“Trust me, it’s gonna be brown cow stunning.” Monique practically squeals in glee as they walk into the changing room, Asia deciding to keep her skepticism to herself.

She’s already here, after all. Might as well make the most of it.

There’s only one word that pops into Asia’s mind once they enter the gym…smelly. Smelly as hell, as if none of the gym goers have ever washed their workout clothes in their lives.

Monet waves her hand in front of Asia’s wrinkled nose. “No different from your nasty ass socks when you come back from your runs.”

“Rude.”

Monet snickers, ignoring the shove that Asia gives her and following Monique towards the elliptical machines.

“The hell is this?” The machine looks like a death trap, like it’s gonna fling her off should she try and step onto it.

Monique waltzes past her, gracefully climbing onto the machine. “ This,” Monique starts with a flourish, “is an elliptical. Your fat ass never been on one before?”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sakes.” Asia mutters, climbing onto the one next to Monique as Monet snickers. She can beat these ridiculous death machines easily.

It turns out, in fact, that Asia cannot.

Monet pats her arm sympathetically as she leads Asia towards the treadmills. “Maybe you won’t fall off of this one as fast.”

Asia huffs. She’s tired of this stinky, sweaty, idiotic-

Well.

Asia was.

But beside the row of treadmills is a squat rack, and standing by that squat rack is a woman in a muscle top that’s hugging her visible abs and leggings that show off her…assets. Asia isn’t one to stare or objectify, but the woman and her damn high ponytail that cascades down her back are making it incrediblydifficult to be nice and respectful.

The woman is spotting a rather sweaty looking guy who looks like he’s about to pass out any minute. Asia wrinkles her nose. Probably the source of the damn smell of this joint. The woman takes his spot next, demonstrating the move that she wants him to do and the way she squats and sticks her ass out (an ass that’s perhaps facing the treadmill that Asia is on), Asia nearly misses a step and falls off.

“Shit!”

She catches herself with her arms against the railings of the treadmill, a string of swear words leaving her mouth that she hopes aren’t audible to the dreamboat woman a couple meters away from her. Who, to her credit, is still doing squat reps with a weighted bar resting along her back and shoulders.

Okay, so she’s safe; the woman probably didn’t hear, or see. Good.

Only then, Asia looks up again, looks back one more time ( why did she look back one more time?), and notices the woman looking in her direction. Staring. Quickly gliding her eyes away when she sees Asia looking back. Aww.

Asia’s nerves disappear, and she does what anyone else would do when they catch a shy, pretty girl staring at them.

She waits for the girl to look again, and then she smiles.

Kameron is the epitome of smooth. She really is, as evidenced by the way that she completely misses Dave’s (or is it Steve’s?) question. They’re reaching the end of the hour, anyway. His training session is going to be done any minute as it is.

“Pardon?” She puts on the most polite voice she can, because Dave/Steve is all tired and sweaty and not in a good mood after Kameron made him do entirely more burpees than necessary. Along with the fact that he pays at the register after the session is over, so she wants to keep him happy.

“I said,” the man huffs in between sips of his water, “can we do these next week with lighter weights?”

“You want to go lighter?” Kameron raises an eyebrow. It’s not that she’s surprised, per se. It’s just that most men that she trains always feel like they have something to prove with her once they see her muscles.

Dave/Steve (she really needs to figure out his name) tries to get up, but falls back against the seat of the leg press machine. “I think you nearly killed me this time, Miss.”

“Told you, my name’s Kameron, not ‘Miss’.” Kameron can’t help her snippy tone. Screw keeping him happy.

She helps him up regardless, though, keeping him from falling on his shaky legs as he hobbles towards the changing rooms. It’s only then that she allows herself to peek back up at the woman by the treadmills.

Who is smiling at her.

Kameron nearly drops her clipboard, catches it with a slew of curse words that leave her mouth. She looks back up and the woman looks like she’s trying not to laugh, and Kameron can’t help the blood rushing to her cheeks.

She’s smooth. Real smooth. Incredibly smooth.

Kameron watches as the woman hops off her treadmill, looking like she’s glistening rather than breaking a sweat. Who actually looks good at the gym? The woman strides closer to her, and Kameron has to resist the urge to step backwards, because talking to pretty girls for the first time is not her forte. The woman, however, has other ideas.

Oh God. She’s walking towards her. The pretty woman is walking towards her.

She’s smooth. Real smooth. She can do this.

“Hi there!” The woman smiles again, her dimples and white teeth ( God , she has white teeth, how does she have such white teeth?) even more stunning up close.

Kameron can do this. She can do this.

“You a trainer here?”

She can’t do this.

“Um…uh…Hi. Yes. Trainer. I’m a trainer, yes.” Kam watches the other woman’s smile grow even wider at her stumbling, and has to stifle another stream of curses from spilling out of her mouth. She coughs, taking the opportunity to hide her face in her elbow and regain composure.

“What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m looking for a trainer, and I just saw you working with that guy, so I thought I might inquire about you, ah…”

She’s looking for her name. The pretty woman is looking for her name.

“Oh! Um…Kam. Everyone just calls me Kam.” As she says it, she realizes that her name is literally sewn into her shirt, and she reddens.

God damn, this woman knows what she’s doing.

“Well hi, Kam! I’m Asia.” The woman extends a hand, and Kameron takes it, once again reddening when she feels how fucking soft the woman’s hands are, even slick with sweat.

Kam doesn’t even wipe her hand on her shorts.

“Nice to meet you, Asia.” Kam smiles, knowing her own plain, regular teeth don’t measure up, hoping that Asia won’t mind too much. Thankfully, Asia doesn’t seem to–instead, she just nods.

“Pleasure’s all mine, baby.”

Oh God. She called her baby.

“So… Can I schedule a session with you some time?”

“Oh, yes please.”

Oh, for Lord’s sake.

“Um, I mean… I’m free next week on Thursday at 3?”

“Well, that’s a coincidence!” Asia giggles, flipping her hair a little. Jesus fucking Christ. “So am I. So see you Thursday at 3?”

Against her better judgment, Kameron nods. “See you then.”

It’s only when Asia walks away that reality truly hits Kameron. She is completely, utterly fucked, and somehow, she doesn’t mind.

[geekystorytelling]

I am the epitome of a useless lesbian.

Here I am sitting in LaGuardia airport sipping a margarita waiting for my flight...when I hear a strong butch voice to my right and notice an attractive queer-pinging woman at the same long table but across from me. I make eye contact, manage a small smile out of the corner of my mouth acknowledging how awkward I am, and look back down.

Always pining

[habibialkaysani]

so um. I never did give that update on hot girl. well , hot girl 1.0. yes, there is a second hot girl who I will call hot girl 2.0. they're both greek and they actually live together - or at least they did. I think 1.0 is going to go live with her boyfriend (yeah, I was sad about that too lol).

but I think it's worth noting that 2.0 was really nice to me. like from the moment she arrived - she's relatively new in the office - she's been nothing but lovely to me and she's complimented my dress sense like a few times and said I looked pretty???? and maybe I'm imagining it but I was sure she was doing heart eyes at me the other day when she thought I wasn't looking?

and just. I would love to ask her if she wants to get a milkshake with me or something. but like. not like that. but I am the epitome of useless lesbian so I doubt I will.

[lionpotato]

gentleman jack kills me every. single. week.

and then i spend the entire week waiting for the next episode..

[remade999]

I love the useless lesbian meme but ppl are mad about it being used by non lesbians as an actual insult afaik. I'm not gonna stop making jokes because I am the epitome of a dumb lesbian but it is a lil shitty coming from like, idk, straight dudes

if a straight dude called me dumb or useless i’d murder him so fast

[lesbianologist]

oof

my prof wore this beautiful, rich, mustard yellow button-up blouse (though it looked more like a regular button-up t-shirt) with a black blazer, black hi-rise work pants, and these beautiful black boots. all i can say is wow? i’m so gay lmao.

AND then there was this beautiful redhead who walked by me and my friend and we made intense eye-contact and she smiled really big at me. later on i walked my friend to her class, and she was in my friend’s class? so we talked to her? and she was even more beautiful and nice closer up??? she wore this stunning magenta shirt with ripped (cuffed) jeans, blundstones, and her red hair was curled (you could tell it was intentionally done, not natural, but still beautiful). her smile was mesmerizing. i said to my friend later when i left “she’s really attractive”.

i truly am the epitome of a walking useless lesbian. i can’t.